These were a little harder because, somewhat obviously, I remember a lot more about the more recent portion of my life than I do about years one through ten. I am not 19 years old, by the way – I just felt like 18 was a good place to stop.
Year 11: I am in sixth grade now. I still refuse to wear my glasses, even though I really need them. I get poison ivy all over my face during the first month of school and am certain all the other kids think I am a monster. I spend this year hiding behind my hair and stumbling into things. I hit awkward early and hard.
Year 12: I stop playing with my little brother all the time and begin to spend hours on the phone with my friends. Some of them already have boyfriends, but I just have crushes. My friend has make-out parties in her basement, but I am purely a spectator. I secretly think kissing with tongue is gross.
Year 13: I have my first kiss. My suspicions are confirmed.
Year 14: The first day of high school I put my mother’s “body mousse” in my hair because I am trying to be cool and grown up. My hair looks like I bathe in grease – not quite the effect I was looking for. I am one of two girls in jazz band and promptly develop a very high tolerance for dirty jokes as a means of survival.
Year 15: I discover dieting. My mother goes on a diet and I decide I will too. I eat 800 calories a day (two rice cake PBJs, two oranges, a lean cuisine meal, and a jello pudding). I lose 20 lbs, but find out the hard way that (1) this is a dysfunctional thing to do and (2) mother doesn’t always know best.
Year 16: I (finally) hit my stride. Awkward no more! I promptly enter into an ill-advised relationship with a somewhat dim-witted young man. He likes me much more than I like him.
Year 17: I am drum major of our high school marching band, but am not particularly good at it. I don’t want to yell at people – I want everyone to like me. I like to drive around in my car with the windows down listening to The Jackson Five and the theme song from Mr. Roger’s neighborhood at full volume. I think I am very funny.
Year 18: In the summer, I work at Starbucks and go to the movies with my boyfriend multiple times a week. We park in his car all over town so we can make out. We are only caught by the cops once.
Adverse Possession 